How Do You Give Thanks?

Holidays Aren't Picture Perfect but...

I grew up in a close knit family where my parents seemed to make the holiday feel like in the movies. Warm house with warm feelings and warm homemade food.

My husband’s upbringing was about as far the opposite of mine as you can get. When I met him, he hated holidays and birthdays.

Throughout the years we have created our own traditions and the holidays have become a special time for our family.

For the first 7 years of our marriage, we spent every Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. Warm house, warm food, warm hearts. I have nine siblings so it’s usually quite a crowd, but a lovely crowd.

Then some things happened that led to me making the choice to spend the holidays at my own home instead of at my parents’. I’ll be real with you. This felt like torture the first few years.

But I was determined that the holidays were going to be special for my kids. So I didn’t let my kids see my heartache and tears. I found new ways to enjoy it. I had to make the decision to make it a happy and memorable experience that I get to create with my husband and kids for our own family.

We’ve created our own traditions. Some of which are completely different than my old view of what the holidays had to be. I don’t spend 3 days cooking from scratch like my mom does, bless her heart. We stick to the basics. I adore frozen roll dough, Marie Callender’s frozen pies, and stuffing in a box.

But the most important thing is this: warm house, warm food, warm hearts. Beyond that the details don’t matter. There’s no family drama. No political discussions. Just us and our kids sharing the day together.

I encourage you. Whatever causes you undue stress on the holidays, let go of it.

A shift in perception can do wonders. If you have an idea of how things have to be that feels overwhelming, you can simplify.

Choose to stay out of discussions that create conflict or hurt feelings. (Remember you can’t have a logical discussion with someone who’s having an emotional argument.)

Choose to avoid people who are damaging to your well-being. You can set personal boundaries to protect your well-being.

You get to choose to create your own holidays that work for you and your family.

Make sure there are warm hearts and warm feelings.

Without that, all those other things don’t really matter, do they?

Happy Thanksgiving!